Expression Ecrite sur Shakira : Corriger mes fautes

Sujet :

Bonjour à tous,

J'aimerais qu'on puisse corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait, si j'en ai fais dans l'expression écrite ci-dessous :

My dear Marc,

I
wrote you this letter, to tell you what I have made yesterday. I went to a concert of Shakira with my friends in London. First of all when Shakira has gone on the stage, I was moved, touched, I wanted to cry, my eyes filled with tears, my dream come true gradually see Shakira. And when she began to sing “waka waka”, I thought that this song was about my life, I felt nostalgic. Now it was "If you go" I started singing with her. I started dancing. After the big moment arrived, she said "You want dance Belgium" and she started to dance, in this moment I was in paradise. After the end of "Illegal" the room had become quite black. Shakira appeared with a rope and puts on a show which has killed everyone. Then she started singing "Whenever Wherever". If you would have been with me, you would have felt a big enjoyment. Shakira is out with a pink scarf, she did a dance which has shocked
everyone. Finally, I tried to see Shakira, but she’s ignored me. Today I seem to lack, I’m sad, I want see Shakira, she is my life, my dream. Give my love to the rest of the family.
Much love, as always

Où j'en suis :

Merci à tous et bonne soirée

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