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Bonjour,
Je dois imaginer la suite de l'histoire The landlady by Roald Dahl,
Pourriez-vous me corriger s'il vous plait?Et me dire si c'est bien écrit?
Merci beacoup d'avance
S'il vous plait une réponse avant 17h ce jeudi 4 juin, merci bcp
No one in the last two to three years has been here except him. How odd he found that.
« But this is a bed and breakfast, is it not » ? he said.
As she didn’t respond him, he continued « How do you earn the money to keep this going ? »Billy asked prudently.
She did not respond to the question but asked« my dear, do you want another cup of tea ? ». She did not let him answer, and all of a sudden, she throw him a cup of tea. The beverage was still hot and burned Billy’s hands. The cup was made of faience and when it fell, it cut the skin of his hand. He was so confused and terrified that he couldn’t move. « Why would she do that » was he thinking and at the same time trying to walk back to the stairs. The landlady didn’t let him do a single movement. She jumped on him and grab his neck. She had become fierce.
Mr Weaver was suffocating. « Help, help, help me out ! » but it was just a little whisper. The old lady laughed out. The adrenaline helped Billy to have suddenly a lot of energy. He managed to escape from her hands and took the keys that were around her neck. He tried to open up all the rooms. The third one was the right one. The two other guests were there. « Follow me, we have to escape, she is a crazy old lady,get up quickly ! » yelled Billy panicked because he was hearing the hurried foosteps. Suddenly the bell of the bed and breakfast rang.The landlady stopped in the stairs and made her way to the hall to open the door.
Billy took advantage of the arrival of this futur victim to leave without the landlady knowing it.
The three hostage left the boardinghouse by a window near the entry.
Mr.Mullhouse and Mr.Templer thanked him a lot.
Billy was unsettled by what just happened .He left the two guys and called the police.
In the end, the pub Bell & Dragon would have been better for him.
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Salut Eva!
Je sais que c'est un peu tard, mais si jamais tu as eu la possibilité de le rendre plus tard, je te donne quand même mon avis!
A la premiere ligne je dirais "had" et non "has" (comme tu parles au passé), ensuite, pour ta deuxieme phrase "How odd..." je trouve la tournure un petit peu étrange, tu l'as formulée comme s'il s'agissait d'un question. Du coup je suggererais soit "How odd was that?" ou "He found that very odd".
Ensuite dans ta phrase "As she..." je mettrais "Answer" à la place de "respond", tu ne peux pas trop l'utiliser dans ce cas là, autrement je dirais "How do you earn enough money to keep this going?" et je trouve que "he continued" et "Billy asked prudently" ont la même foncion et qu'il faudrait donc en supprimer un des deux.
Puis, encore "She did not answer...". La suite est bien, je corrigerais juste la faute de conjugaison du verbe irregulier "throw" (ce qui donne donc threw au preterit).
Ensuite, je rajouterais un ? après "Why would she do that" et je remplacerais "an at the same time" par "while". Puis, là, je conjuguerais "grab" au preterit (celui là est regulier, ça donnera donc "grabbed").
La suite est très bien, je mettrai juste "hostage" au pluriel, comme ils sont plusieurs.
Ensuite, dans la phrase "Billy was unsettled..." je mettrais "what had just happened" pour bien conjuguer au passé (comme c'est un récit).
Et voilà, je ne suis pas une prof donc peut être que je n'ai pas tout vu, mais j'espere que ça pourra t'aider!
Bon courage!
Angélina